Safe Strong and Free's Kerry Lowe discusses their bullying awareness campaign, and how their awareness resources can help foster a culture of kindness to combat bullying. 

At Safe Strong and Free, we believe that kindness has the power to change children’s lives. A culture of kindness helps to create environments where young people feel safe, valued, and able to thrive. Kindness is about more than good manners; it is about empathy, respect, and the understanding that every person deserves to belong. When kindness is part of the culture, harmful behaviours become less acceptable, and bystanders are more likely to speak up. Kindness does not just prevent bullying; it strengthens relationships and helps people feel safe and valued. Without this foundation, bullying behaviour can emerge, creating environments where children feel unsafe, excluded, and unable to thrive.

Bullying continues to be one of the most common concerns raised by children and young people in Scotland. The Scottish Government’s most recent update to Respect for All: The National Approach to Anti-Bullying for Scotland’s Children and Young People (November 2024) defines bullying in the following way:

“Bullying is face-to-face and/or online behaviour which impacts on a person’s sense of physical and emotional safety, their capacity to feel in control of their life, and their ability to respond effectively to the situation they are in. The behaviour does not need to be repeated, or even intended to cause harm, for it to have an impact. Bullying behaviour can be physical, emotional, or verbal, and can leave people feeling hurt, threatened, frightened, or excluded.”

This definition highlights that bullying is not simply about repetition or intent; a single incident can cause lasting harm. It also makes clear that bullying is both behaviour and impact, and that the effects on a child’s sense of safety, control, and wellbeing are what matter most.

Our new guides for children and young people, and for parents and carers, are designed to provide clear, accessible advice for situations that are often confusing and emotionally charged. For children, the guide explains what bullying is in straightforward and relatable language. It reassures them that bullying is never their fault and offers practical ideas for coping with difficult situations. Children are encouraged to think about strategies to build and maintain friendships, to recognise when they need to reach out for help, and to understand that there are always safe adults they can talk to. Importantly, the guide also includes advice for children who find themselves displaying bullying behaviours, helping them to understand the impact of their actions and to make positive changes.

The parents’ guide provides reassurance and practical strategies for families who are concerned about bullying. It helps parents to recognise possible signs that their child is struggling, to respond calmly and constructively when their child shares worries, and to work effectively with schools. It also addresses the difficult situation where a parent learns that their child may be displaying bullying behaviours. Instead of responding with shame or punishment, the guide encourages parents to approach this with empathy and persistence, helping their child to change and repair relationships.

Both guides stress the importance of avoiding labels. Calling a child “a bully” reduces them to one behaviour and risks defining their whole identity around it. Labels make it harder for children to change. Sometimes, children even begin to believe the label themselves, leading to more negative behaviour rather than less. Behaviour must always be challenged, but no child should ever be defined by it. By focusing on behaviour rather than labels, we give children the chance to change and make positive choices.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child reminds us that every child has rights, even when their behaviour causes harm. A child who is bullied has the right to be protected from violence, to be listened to, and to feel safe and included. But the child who displays bullying behaviour also keeps their rights: the right to be treated with dignity, to continue their education, and to get help if they are struggling. Remembering this helps us respond in ways that are fair, supportive, and restorative, rather than stigmatising.

This does not take away from the actual harm bullying causes. The safety and wellbeing of the child who is targeted must always come first. But supporting one child should never mean giving up on another. Both children deserve care. Both need adults who will listen and step in. And both need practical steps that protect their wellbeing and help them move forward.

Kindness also must be more than a message rolled out once a year during Anti-Bullying Week. Assemblies and awareness events can spark useful conversations, but on their own they are not enough. For kindness to truly make a difference, it must be embedded into everyday school life. That means teachers role-modelling respect in their interactions, children being encouraged to support and include one another, and values of empathy and fairness being visible in every classroom and playground. When kindness is lived day to day, children learn that respect and empathy are not just slogans but expectations that shape how we treat each other.

This is where restorative practices play a vital role. Rather than focusing only on punishment, restorative approaches help children understand the impact of their behaviour, repair harm, and learn new ways of communicating. They give the child who has been hurt the chance to have their voice heard and their feelings acknowledged, while also giving the child who caused harm an opportunity to take responsibility and make amends. Restorative practices turn conflict into an opportunity to learn important life skills such as empathy, accountability, and problem-solving.

By working together, families, schools, and communities, we can create places where kindness and respect are part of everyday life, where restorative approaches help conflicts become opportunities to learn, and where every child in Scotland has the chance to feel safe, strong, and free.