The Month of the Military Child: what we can learn from military children

Ahead of Month of the Military Child, Children in Scotland’s Head of Services Billy Anderson discusses the resilience displayed by military children and the lessons we can learn from them.  

Being asked to write about the strengths of any child is always a privilege. It is a three line whip that cracks the pause button on constant analysis of barriers, challenges and injustices. In the Month of the Military Child 2025, Forces Children Scotland are asking all of us to do just that by celebrating the remarkable positivity, bravery, courage and adaptability that this particular group of children show every day. 

I believe that military children have developed extraordinary strengths as a result of their unique experiences and those strengths need to be recognised as a shining example of that thing we call ‘resilience’. 

Resilience is a term often thrown around as something that we need to develop as human beings. I don’t like it when these demands are made of children who are still very much making sense of the world and their place in it. In fact, those children that we demand to ‘build some resilience’ are usually the most resilient of all of us. Their lives have been imposed on them to a  degree where every day they live, think and operate in a state of resilience. This can be draining and exhausting, to a point where the constant demand on the resilience reservoir makes the walls crumble. We usually call this weakening of the walls ‘vulnerability’. The two terms are not as oppositional as you may think, they are actually symbiotic and often exist within the same space, within the same child. 

To put this in the context of military children, we need to think about ‘Mobility’ where a military family relocates from one place to another, resulting in moving  schools for the child or young person either within the UK or a different country. We need to also think about ‘Deployment’ where a family member is away from home for a long period of time carrying out military duties. Both of these features of miliary family life generate equal amounts of vulnerability and resilience. They are essentially times of frequent change that are layered across their young lives with interrupted learning and relationships, increased responsibilities and cultural differences to navigate and increased isolation leading to decreased feelings of belonging.  

For these particular children and their lives of constant change and transition, we need to recognise and celebrate the unique strengths that are developed. It would be far too easy to criticise the lifestyle and miss the positive attributes that it enables. Since the age of 18, I have moved home around 22 times. I am not part of a military family but I can reflect on the positive impacts on my own children and try to extend that to the military child’s mindset: 

• Home is where the heart is – No matter where we live, we are together and my children value family over and above bricks and mortar. 

• The world is a bigger place than just ‘home’ – My children have a wider world view on culture and global issues. 

• Relationships are transient, friendships are forever – Recognising this early has helped my children get the most out of relationships with people in the moment. Friendships are different and people can and will keep in touch over distance and time. 

• There’s a first time for everything – Having confidence to try new things and not worry about the ‘what ifs’. Being present in the moment and experiencing new things with reduced fear. 

• Embracing change – seeing change as an adventure and not as a threat. My children pursue change as a familiar state of being and one that can present opportunities. 

Some personal reflections on the qualities I have seen demonstrated by my own children who have a definite strength of character rooted in change and transitions. For military children, I’m sure that many of these strengths are amplified tenfold. The positivity, bravery, courage and adaptability that are the building blocks of that thing we call resilience are embodied by military children and we need to be aware of this, understand it and empathise with it. Make it your goal this month to find out more about military children and specifically hear their voices, experiences and stories. This way, we can make sure that they are seen and supported in a way that keeps the balance between vulnerability and resilience in harmonious check. 

Military children have the same rights as all children. Within these rights they may at times have the right to additional support for learning in the short, medium or long term as their family circumstances may dictate a little bit of extra help to access their education. Our Children in Scotland Services can help! 

My Rights, My Say – A partnership that supports children aged 12 – 15 with additional support needs to have their voices, views and experiences heard in processes that impact on their education. 

Enquire – The national information and advice service for parents, carers & professionals on additional support for learning with a comprehensive website packed full of resources and a dedicated helpline. 

REACH – Enquire’s child-centred and targeted website full of information and resources on children’s rights and inclusion. Check out the REACH TikTok channel too for some fab content. 

Resolve – Scotland’s largest National independent mediation service for parents and carers that support the resolution of conflict between families and schools at the earliest stage possible. 

So, I think there is a lot that we can learn from these exceptional children who deserve to be celebrated not just this month, but in all of our considerations from this point on. How are we including their views and experiences in our transition processes for all children and young people? They appear to me to be experts in this field…now that would be a pretty cool way to use and share those strengths….just a thought! 

If you would like to learn more about the Month of the Military Child, head to Forces Children Scotland.